Recently in Maryland Category
From my jaundiced and apathetic viewpoint, Obama seems to have the most traction in the state. My representative - Elijah Cummings - and a whole raft of local Howard County officials are endorsing him. But Clinton has some high-power endorsements herself: Governor O'Malley and Senator Mikulski are both strong Clinton supporters. I've yet to settle on a candidate. I have till next Tuesday to do so. (Maryland has a closed primary system. To vote in the primaries, you have to declare an official party affiliation. I get to vote only for Democrats.)
I think this is the first time since I've lived in Maryland that my vote in the presidential primary might actually mean something. In all the other primaries, the nominee had been decided long before I got to vote. Now I have to really think seriously about my choice. I'm not free to cast my usual "What will piss off conservatives the most?" vote.
So much for my Al Gore write-in campaign.
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I penned this post last Wednesday, 16 January, and meant to post, but then got interrupted and busy. Here it is finally.Everyone likes to make fun of their employer. We've all experienced bonehead managers, capricious decisions, and lazy colleagues at one time or another. And I suppose like most employers, mine can have its issues. But most of the time APL is a great place to work.
And sometimes what we do is really, really cool.
Take Monday, for instance. A spacecraft designed and built by APL - MESSENGER - flew around the back side of the planet Mercury. You know... the planet with one side always facing the sun? The side we never see? The side of Mercury no one has ever seen before? While it was there, our spacecraft took a few photos and sent them back to MESSENGER Mission Control, only a couple of hundred yards from where I sit. The picture here was taken at a distance of 27,000 km. Yeah, I know, Mercury kind of looks like the Moon. But the environment that close to the Sun is quite hostile and it takes some pretty smart people to design, engineer, and control a space vehicle where one has no place being.
Now I want to make clear that I have nothing to do with MESSENGER. I work in a different building in a different department on different things. A bunch of engineers and managers a whole lot smarter than me deserve all the accolades.
For now, MESSENGER is heading back out into the solar system for a while before finally returning to orbit Mercury in a few years. Expect more pictures, experiments, and data.
You can find out more about MESSENGER here.
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National
Governor Mike Huckabee yesterday apologized to Mitt Romney for disparaging Romney's Mormon religion. Gov. Huckabee caused the issue in published comments when he innocently suggested that according to Mormon teaching, Jesus and Satan are brothers. Presumably the apology was not over this specific point of Mormonism - Mormons really do believe Jesus and Lucifer are brothers (cf. D&C 76:25) - but that he brought up religion at all. Nevertheless, this is exactly the kind of political discourse our Founding Fathers wanted: presidential candidates cowed into defending their ways of worshiping God
by a powerful minority determined to impose its religious tenets as a
test for holding public office. May all Republicans rejoice!
Local
The demise of Columbia, Maryland's, Christmastime poinsettia tree has caused not only a little sadness in Howard County but a protest as well. For forty Christmases, the cultural, social, intellectual, and spiritual heart of Howard County's planned community - The Mall in Columbia - has boosted community Yuletide morale by providing Columbians with a huge poinsettia "tree" at the center of this venerable establishment. Unfortunately the Mall's new out-of-town management ditched the beloved tradition in favor of a tacky, crass, and tawdry "Santastic" experience (Where Santa believes in you!). Brokenhearted Columbians, desperate for solace, succor, and any last shred of the true spirit of Christmas, have been found as far away as Arundel Mills Mall in a futile attempt to regain the magic.
Sports
Major league baseball is issuing a report today naming names in the ever-growing steroid scandal. Evidently some pretty big names are going to be mentioned. Baltimore Oriole's-own Jay Gibbons has already admitted to steroid use and has been suspended for 15 games at the start of next season. Other Orioles are almost certainly going to be named. But you know what? So what else is new? Buzz was pitch-perfect on this one: Marion Jones was the last straw. Now I believe all world-class athletes - no matter the stripe, no matter the sport - are on steroids. I figure that kid who won the national spelling bee is on steroids.
Science
Scientists and anthropologists now understand why pregnant women don't tip over like bowling pins. Researchers from Harvard have discovered that skeletal adaptations of the female lower back can be found in early hominid fossils. These adaptations help relieve strain on the female lumbar region as women naturally lean back during pregnancy. Hominid women so equipped would be better adapted to their environment than hominid women without. It also explains the apparent lack of beer-gutted australopithecine men in the fossil record.
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The part of Governor O'Malley's revenue package that's getting the most press is legalizing slot machines in Maryland. It's been a contentious issue here for years. The current proposal is to have slot machines at 5 Maryland locations, two of which are horse racetracks. (Though not at Baltimore's Pimlico track, effectively dooming the Preakness.) Thirty percent of the gross revenue would go to slots operators over-the-table to augment their under-the-table take, $140 million per year would go to the horse race business as a blatant subsidy to an otherwise dying industry, and a portion would go to Maryland, ostensibly for education and treating gambling addiction.
This time there's a serious proposal to have a state referendum on the issue during next year's elections. Maryland doesn't have many voter referendums. And the ones we do have are usually dry and boring changes to the state constitution. A ballot issue to legalize slots would be fun: unrelenting TV advertisements, lies from the gaming industry, dire prognostications from the racing community, and vitriolic, acrimonious rhetoric from both sides of the issue. I'd love to see it come to a vote just for the entertainment value.
I have no use for slot machines or horse racing. I find both a wretched waste of time. You know the expression "like watching paint dry"? For me, slot machines and horse racing are like watching dry paint. And it's hard for me to think of an activity more lowbrow than feeding slot machines at a horse track. But unless the issue is gets to be decided by the voters, I'm sure the Maryland legislature will legalize the beasts.
I'll never understand the gaming mentality.
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Take those disposable roadside signs, for instance. Real estate, estate sales, yard sales, garage sales, garage roofs, roof repair, car repair, junk cars, junk houses, junk itself, you name it, those 2'x3' disposable signs appear at every intersection of every goddamn road in Howard County. They are a major pet peeve of mine. The signs are ugly, block my view, and have no business being posted on public thoroughfares. Arrogant, stupid, I'm-just-gonna-do-what-I-feel-like bozos with something to sell put up these signs with absolutely no accountability. These people are nothing more than spammers and litterers. Remember Alice's Restaurant? People won't sit next to litterers. People move away from litterers. That's how reprehensible litterers are.
Turns out I'm not alone.
Led by our clear-sighted, forward-thinking, shiny-green county executive, Ken Ulman, an army of highway workers is this week - today - as we speak, sweeping Howard County clean. Sweeping clean our roadways of commercial blight! Sweeping clean our intersections of vertical spam! Sweeping clean our median strips of unnecessary signs! Sweeping clean our neighborhoods of every disposable placard they can find! Sweeping clean the Howard countryside of all that unwanted, despicable, advertising! I'm renewed! Invigorated! Reborn!
It's the rapture! I feel it! Hallelujah!!! Give God praise and glory!
Now if Ulman could only do the same thing with movie talkers.
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People used to rain miss it when it's taken away.
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Does that picture seem right to you? That Maryland generates revenue for the education of our children by appealing to people's basest instincts? That schools for the next generation of Marylanders are constructed using money gained through direct appeal to avarice? I have to blink and rub my eyes when I think about it. I guess I'm old-school enough to think that education funds ought to come from more traditional revenue streams.
Most of the time I'm against the idea of slots. Yes, it's true, I strongly disapprove of gambling. Not for self-righteous, moral-indignation kinds of reasons but because gambling seems like such a vapid, senseless waste of time. Ka-ching, yank. Ka-ching, yank. Ka-ching, yank. Couldn't you do something a little more intellectual? Something a little more uplifting? Something a little more constructive than being a mindless thrall of the gaming industry?
Then there are the times when the devil on my shoulder whispers in my ear and I simply don't care. Even though slots generally appeal to those least able to afford the activity, so what? I'm not obliged to play. And if someone wants to throw their hard-earned money into Maryland coffers and the yawning maw of the gaming industry, why should I try and stop them? Gambling is merely a tax on people who did poorly in math.
Supporters of slots say revenues will subsidize the dying Maryland horse race industry (let it die), stop urban sprawl (to the benefit of rich landowners who, from an ecological standpoint, own barren wastelands not vibrant ecosystems), and help problem gamblers. (I love that. Slots revenues are earmarked to help gambling addicts but I guess it makes sense.) I'm very skeptical that Maryland will ever see the net revenue slots proponents tout. The gaming industry is too crooked to let Maryland get a decent cut. And despite everyone's assurance, I'm sure casinos inevitably follow slots.
Maryland is locked in a Mid-Atlantic gambling arms race. Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Delaware have all legalized gambling. The siren song of what appears to be easy revenue will ultimately be too irresistible for politicians. Not only do I expect slots to appear in Maryland,
I'm betting on it.
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- Basilica of the Assumption, Baltimore
- Deep Creek Lake, Garrett County
- Oriole Park at Camden Yards, Baltimore
- Chesapeake Bay Bridge
- Fort McHenry National Monument, Baltimore
- Chesapeake and Ohio Canal
- Maryland State House, Annapolis
As for the others, I've seen them. The C&O Canal is my favorite. It parallels the Potomac River from Cumberland to Georgetown and it's great for hiking, bike riding, history, birding, and relaxing. You won't confuse any of these sights with the Great Pyramids or Stonehenge. But they're ours.
And all worth visiting should you find yourself in the Old Line State.
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