Roadside Trash Gets Attention
When you're my age - twilight years, kids gone, nothing but cheap thrills to keep you going - pet peeves take on significantly more importance in your life. You nurse them. You give them names. You join clubs so you can talk with other like-minded pet-peevers. I'm a champion pet-peever and I cherish mine. I have a couple of pet peeves with hats on them.
Take those disposable roadside signs, for instance. Real estate, estate sales, yard sales, garage sales, garage roofs, roof repair, car repair, junk cars, junk houses, junk itself, you name it, those 2'x3' disposable signs appear at every intersection of every goddamn road in Howard County. They are a major pet peeve of mine. The signs are ugly, block my view, and have no business being posted on public thoroughfares. Arrogant, stupid, I'm-just-gonna-do-what-I-feel-like bozos with something to sell put up these signs with absolutely no accountability. These people are nothing more than spammers and litterers. Remember Alice's Restaurant? People won't sit next to litterers. People move away from litterers. That's how reprehensible litterers are.
Turns out I'm not alone.
Led by our clear-sighted, forward-thinking, shiny-green county executive, Ken Ulman, an army of highway workers is this week - today - as we speak, sweeping Howard County clean. Sweeping clean our roadways of commercial blight! Sweeping clean our intersections of vertical spam! Sweeping clean our median strips of unnecessary signs! Sweeping clean our neighborhoods of every disposable placard they can find! Sweeping clean the Howard countryside of all that unwanted, despicable, advertising! I'm renewed! Invigorated! Reborn!
It's the rapture! I feel it! Hallelujah!!! Give God praise and glory!
Now if Ulman could only do the same thing with movie talkers.
K-
Take those disposable roadside signs, for instance. Real estate, estate sales, yard sales, garage sales, garage roofs, roof repair, car repair, junk cars, junk houses, junk itself, you name it, those 2'x3' disposable signs appear at every intersection of every goddamn road in Howard County. They are a major pet peeve of mine. The signs are ugly, block my view, and have no business being posted on public thoroughfares. Arrogant, stupid, I'm-just-gonna-do-what-I-feel-like bozos with something to sell put up these signs with absolutely no accountability. These people are nothing more than spammers and litterers. Remember Alice's Restaurant? People won't sit next to litterers. People move away from litterers. That's how reprehensible litterers are.
Turns out I'm not alone.
Led by our clear-sighted, forward-thinking, shiny-green county executive, Ken Ulman, an army of highway workers is this week - today - as we speak, sweeping Howard County clean. Sweeping clean our roadways of commercial blight! Sweeping clean our intersections of vertical spam! Sweeping clean our median strips of unnecessary signs! Sweeping clean our neighborhoods of every disposable placard they can find! Sweeping clean the Howard countryside of all that unwanted, despicable, advertising! I'm renewed! Invigorated! Reborn!
It's the rapture! I feel it! Hallelujah!!! Give God praise and glory!
Now if Ulman could only do the same thing with movie talkers.
K-
