Wanted: A Guy Who Don't Smell So Good

I find things in my driveway occasionally. Cars, leaves, rocks, cat poop, balls of all sorts and varieties, scooters, spent fireworks, whiffle bats, beer bottles. You name it, I've probably found it in my driveway.

Yesterday morning I woke to see what appeared to be a large, white rock sitting in the middle of my driveway. Not down at the end but directly in the middle. As if it had been placed there intentionally. Perfectly centered side-to-side, equidistant from the road and the door. I was virtually certain it had not been there when I went to bed.

When I went to get the Saturday paper, I bent down and picked up the rock thinking to chuck it into the woods. But its whiteness grabbed my attention, causing me to look more closely at it.

There in my hand was a sculpted human nose.

A nose the size of my fist. Formed from hard plaster or maybe concrete, large and aquiline with two well-formed nostrils. How it came to be there is a mystery. There are no statues in the neighborhood. No artists in residence. No studios or museums. It seems too well-made to be a child's art project.

I'll save it on the off-chance some poor marbleized immortal comes calling.
K-