December 2005 Archives

I couldn't end the year with my last entry being a silly, old meme. So I'm ending it much as I began it, Janus-style.

Happy New Year.
K-

I thought I was all memed out until I saw this one with the titular Sherlockian connection:

Four jobs you've had in your life:

1. Engineer
2. Factory worker bottling liquid chlorine bleach
3. Price sticker labeler at Sears
4. Busboy

Four movies you could watch over and over:

1. Casablanca
2. Some Like It Hot
3. Mister Roberts
4. A League of Their Own

Four places you've lived:

1. Westborough, Massachusetts
2. Ann Arbor, Michigan
3. Hazelwood, Missouri
4. Woodstock, Maryland

Four TV shows you love to watch:

1. Good Eats
2. The Dick Van Dyke Show
3. Seinfeld
4. Family Guy

Four places you've been on vacation:

1. Backpacking Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado
2. Canoeing the Sand River from its source in Canada to Lake Superior
3. Hiking Banff National Park, Alberta, Canada
4. Mount Desert Island, Maine

Four websites you visit daily:

1. Disarranging Mine
2. CrabAppleLane
3. Fragments from Floyd
4. The New York Times

Four of your favorite foods:

1. Taco Bell bean burritos
2. Anything I grill
3. Meat loaf
4. Wine and beer

Four places you'd rather be:

1. Birding
2. At the movies
3. Meyerhoff Symphony Hall
4. Anywhere I've never been

You'll find The Sign of Four in its original Sherlock Holmes form - replete with treasure, Thames River boat chases, and 7-percent solutions - much more interesting than this. Via Disarranging Mine.
K-

MSNBC is reviewing 2005. Every news outlet does this... best movies, worst movies, best books, worst books, most sexy, worst dressed, best, best, best, worst, worst, worst, yada, yada, yada. The MSNBC article that caught my eye lists the 10 best TV shows of 2005. Why it did I don't know, as you'll see in a minute.

According to MSNBC, the 10 Best TV Shows of 2005 are: 1. Lost, 2. The Daily Show, 3. Project Runway, 4. House, 5. Arrested Development, 6. CSI, 7. Law & Order: SVU, 8. Grey's Anatomy, 9. Veronica Mars, and 10. Battlestar Galactica.

Let me be the first to admit that I'm sure all these shows are good. I have no doubt MSNBC got this list right and that all these shows have great acting, smart writing, and crackle with intensity.

I've only seen one of them.

I watch The Daily Show. The other nine I've never seen - not once - ever. A few of the shows (3, 8, 9, 10) I've not even heard of. (I thought Battlestar Galactica went off the air in the '70s only now I find it's on the SciFi Channel.)

So what does this say about me? TV is the predominant medium in America and I've not heard of 40 percent and not watched 90 percent of the best shows on it. Should I be concerned? Should I be watching these shows? Unless something changes, it probably won't happen. I don't watch sports; my news comes from papers and the web; commercials annoy me. Old movies, the Food Network, and the Weather Channel are pretty much it. But I am worried. Losing touch with popular culture... I see this as the first step to becoming Crazy-Old-Man-White-that-guy-down-the-street-who-feeds-birds. (No wait, this would be the second step. Getting those Dockers with elastic in the waistband would have been the first step.)

Well, we can't let this happen. We will change. I'll watch these great TV shows, by golly. There'll be none of this "out of touch" thing for me, no sir. I'll start tomorrow night with Battlestar Galactica.

How I do love Lorne Greene.
K-

In the past week I have lost:

1. my good kitchen shears
2. my v-shaped roasting rack
3. my bottle opener that I've had since college

I have scoured the house several times looking for these things and can't find them. Does anybody know where they are?

Damn, I can obsess about trivialities.
K-

In our house, Christmas gift-giving borders on the mercenary. No wait, I take that back. In our house, Christmas gift-giving is mercenary. Catalogs with post-its strategically placed, annotated magazine ads, Google maps left lying around with specific directions to stores, aisles, shelves, products; these are the telltale signs of Christmas in the White household. Christmas desire conversations go pretty much like this:

"What do you want for Christmas?"
"I sent you an email with links."

Our letters to Santa are very, very specific. There's to be no guesswork, thank you very much.

But every once in a while, we wing it and guesswork prevails. In my case this year, it prevailed quite successfully. I received two presents that were way, way cool. The first surprise present was a travel edition of Scrabble. The tiles snap into the squares, the board folds up into this neat folio, the game stows neatly in a backpack.

The other surprise present was a deck of "The Famous Sea and Coastal Bird Playing Cards."

Oh. My. God.

Each card has a different sea or shore bird pictured on it. They're not all North American birds but who cares? This is the coolest deck of cards I've ever seen. And this includes the naked lady cards I had in 8th grade. The joker has the magnificent frigatebird. The ace of spades has the white-tailed eagle. The ace of hearts has the Atlantic puffin. I can play cards and bird all at the same time.

My next game of Go Fish will be so special.
K-

Well, Christmas has come and gone. After an eternity of Christmas music, Christmas lights, Christmas parties, and Christmas advertising, the great day is over. All that hoopla for an hour's worth of opening presents.

"There's nothing doner than Christmas," as my old friend John Greene liked to say.

And from my untrained eye, Christmas went on pretty much as it always has despite the best efforts of liberals and the ACLU to quash it. The Christmas cudgel hammered America unimpeded. Bellies, merchant coffers, and alms basins all were filled. Luminaries and bayberry candles were lit, we worshipped (unless you go to an evengelical megachurch), no sacrifice was made (unless you live along the Gulf Coast or you're one of those families with loved ones in Iraq). No one - from what I can tell - came away from the day feeling slighted because they were wished compliments of the season.

Fox News must be bitterly disappointed.

I can't wait to see what new, trumped-up faux-crisis Fox News will blame liberals for creating. I can see the Fox News headlines now: "Liberals claim New Year's holiday not inclusive; Jews, Muslims, and Chinese feel slighted. ACLU sues to stop New Year's Eve parties. Happy New Years! greeting to be banned in public facilities. Court order empties Times Square of revelers."

Happy Boxing Day.
K-

The turkey is in the oven, it's pouring down rain here at Becketthaus, and I've got a few idle minutes to blog.

I gave some thought to which august personages I would invite to my 51st birthday dinner table... way, Way, WAY too much thought as I'm sure you'll all agree, but it was fun nonetheless. So if I had the chance, I'd be dining with the following folks on my 51st birthday.

Roger Ebert
Alton Brown
Denzel Washington
Anne-Sophie Mutter
Ellen DeGeneres
Jon Krakauer
Pete Dunne

Not a bad list don't you think? Wikipedia can tell you who they all are with the exception, perhaps, of Pete Dunne. He's a noted birding author and director of the Cape May Bird Observatory. What's a 51st birthday dinner without some serious birding talk?

Now if you'll excuse me... now that I have my fantasy invite list decided I can go think about my fantasy dinner menu. Won't this fantasy work EVER end?
K-

Sausage and my pancakes for breakfast.

Cup of coffee.

Comfy chair.

Sunday New York Times and Baltimore Sun yet to read.

K-

Just got back from a few last minute errands.

*Blech!* What a nightmare.

Everyone and their uncle is out shopping today. I stopped by the liquor store to get some wine for tomorrow night's dinner. I decided to use my credit card. Needless to say the store's credit system yorked on my card. But the clerk was bound and determined to make the charge go through. His perseverance created a huge back-up at his register.

"I have cash! I have cash!" I pleaded.
"No, sir, I'll get it for you. The tax is being taken off for some reason. I have to do it by hand but I'll get it."

I could only apologize to the patrons behind me as I got malevolent glares and icy stares. Two brown paper bags of crabbed hand calculations later, I was given my slip to sign. I signed it to much applause. How I love Christmas sarcasm. The wine better be good.

Well, I'm off to fix Christmas Eve dinner. The White Family tradition is beef stew and biscuits and the stew takes the afternoon to simmer, so I'd best get started. I've got a new recipe for buttermilk biscuits that I'll be trying out this evening. I'm still rubbing down the goosebumps.

Finally, just to make reading Plugs and Dottles not unlike Chinese water torture, I give you my 51st Birthday Dinner invitation list that could have been, indeed, might be next year for my 52nd birthday. Think of them collectively much as you would Suzette Charles.

The Seven Runners-Up for Kem White's 51st Birthday Dinner
Martin Goldsmith - XM Classics DJ and former Performance Today host
Tom Horton - Chesapeake Bay activist and wonderful Baltimore Sun writer
Bob Newhart
Bill Nye the Science Guy
Jimmy Page
Meryl Streep - toss-up with Sean Penn. She's probably a better conversationalist
Grete Waitz - 9 time NYC Marathon winner and 1984 Olympic silver medalist

Have a great Christmas holiday.
K-

I'm off today. I've got presents to buy and errands to run; the last before Christmas. But at least this morning, I'm stuck in the house waiting for a birthday-present delivery. (I've been told it's a "cooler" kept in the "cellar" for one of my favorite dinner beverages.)

Fortunately this gives me time to ponder the invite list for my 51st birthday dinner. Coming up with a top 7 is harder than I thought. They've got to be just the right people. I place a premium on laughter and music; after all it is a birthday celebration. I also want engaging and articulate speakers who can converse on topics of particular interest to me. And one or two beautiful women can't hurt. No nasty politcal bickering or heavy discourse on issues, please.

To help focus my thinking - not to mention it's a fun way to while away the hour till the delivery guy gets here - I came up with a short list from which to draw down to the final seven. Many are well-known. A quick Google will give the background on most of the rest (with the possible exceptions of Tom Horton, Baltimore Sun writer and Chesapeake Bay activist; David Harp, photographer specializing in Chesapeake Bay photography; Bruce McPherson, insightful story-teller and interim rector at my church who is at the same time spiritual and down-to-earth; and Marie Carnes, author of a not-too-shabby blog down Springfield way.)

Well, gotta go. The delivery truck just pulled up. The complete short list is after the jump.
K-

Sunday is my birthday. And this year it will be just my family and me sitting around the great mahogany table in my dining room enjoying my wonderful Christmas dinner. I wouldn't have it any other way. I like them, they like me. We laugh, we cry, we hit each other with wooden spoons, it all works out.

But what if I had to have it another way? What if someone forced me to pick 7 birthday dinner companions - all living, no family - to join me for dinner on my 51st birthday? Who would I, should I, pick?

They would have to be interesting conversationalists certainly. People who would keep me enthralled with their keen intellect, their droll humor. There would have to be quick repartee, incisive observations, lively banter. I would want big-time raconteurs as well as politeness and decorum. Would they all be Hollywood celebrities? Relative unknowns? Authors? Musicians? Political leaders? Academics? Sports figures? Beautiful women? Would I see Bill Clinton next to me? Or Bill Gates? Would I choose Salma Hayek over Oprah Winfrey or Oprah over Salma (Tough choice. But if we limit things to just conversation probably Oprah.) Tom and Ray Magliozzi would be fun, but so would Ellen DeGeneres. Brooks Robinson, Cal Ripken, or B.J. Surhoff? David McCullough, David Hackett Fischer, or Doris Kearns Goodwin? Anne-Sophie Mutter, Marin Alsop, or James Levine? The most important criterion though, is that all my guests would have to be people I find interesting and entertaining. After all, it's my birthday celebration they're coming to.

I'll ponder this question of the moment and post the apocryphal invite list on Sunday. Any and all suggestions welcome.

Who would you invite to your 51st birthday dinner?
K-

Or Louis Armstrong or Miles Davis or Dizzy Gillespie. But he's getting there. For now, he's up there on stage playing with the Mt. Hebron High School Jazz Band. Woo hoo!

Last night was the band's first performance this year, and D-'s first as a jazz musician. The photo is also proof-positive that he really does play when he's on stage. This was the first time I actually saw D- playing on stage since he's been in high school. Usually he plays with the symphonic band where he's buried in the back with the rest of the trumpets. But here he is last night - "bold as brass" to coin a phrase - jamming on Charlie Parker's Yardbird Suite.

Forgive the poor quality of the photo. But this was shot at ISO 400, f/5.6 at 1/13 sec at max zoom with my 300 mm lens from about 80 ft away. And D- was parked under a red light messing with my white balance.

K-

Tweaking the style sheet today but you should see little or no overt change. Let me know of any problems.
K-

"Yeah, well. The Dude abides. "

So true. And I do take comfort from that. Just like The Stranger said.
K-

Today we commemorate the 235th birthday of Ludwig Van, as Alex was wont to call him. Alex's favorite Beethovian work was, of course, the Ninth Symphony. Now that's a great symphony and one that everyone's heard. At least the fourth movement. Rumor has it that the spec for the current audio CD was set at 70 minutes in order to hold the complete Ninth on one disc rather than spread across 2 the way it had been up till then. The Japanese - who were significantly involved in the design of audio CDs - have a passion for this symphony.

But Ludwig Van's Ninth is not my favorite symphony. Nor is his fifth piano concerto - "The Emporer" and the one most loved by the public - my favorite piano concerto. So in celebration of Ludwig Van's birthday, I've uploaded the first movements of my favorites. If you want to hear the whole thing, you'll have to check out ArkivMusic.com.

Piano Concerto No. 4 in G major, Op. 58. Hélène Grimaud, New York Philharmonic, Kurt Mazur
Symphony No. 7 in A major, Op. 92, Berlin Philharmonic, Claudio Abbado
Piano Sonata No. 23 in F minor, "The Appassionata", Op. 57. Daniel Barenboim

My sincere hope is Ludwig Van's music cures what ails you.

Just like it did for Alex.
K-

One of the perquisities of my job is that each Friday the Lab puts on a colloquium. Gifted speakers in all manner of science, government, and engineering come and lecture interested staff members. Anyone who wants to go may. Just like that.

I haven't been to one in years.

Today, however, was different. Bruce A. Dale, a former staff photographer of the National Geographic was the invited speaker and the colloquium announcement promised not only plenty of his photographs but pointers for digital photographers. I could hardly stay away. National Geographic staff photographer is one of my fantasy jobs.

During his introduction, we were told that Mr. Dale was a photographer for National Geographic for 30 years and "more than 2,000 of his photographs were published in the magazine."

I could only shake my head in awe. Think of that... more than 2,000 of his photos have been published by National Geographic.

In my life I haven't taken 2,000 photos that don't suck.
K-

Leave it to the Germans to have a big, honking word meaning "pleasure derived from the misfortune of others."

You see, it's my job to get D- up for school. (I know, I know... he should do it himself, take responsibility, yada yada yada. But it's tradition.) Today I got up at the usual 6:21 and went directly into his room:

"School's open, D-. Time to get up! It's 36 degrees outside. All that ice and snow that blew through here yesterday are gone. I'm sure all the roads are plowed and salted. Rise and Shine."

D- dutifully got up, went into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and got ready.

When he came down to the kitchen I said "I just took the trash out, D-. It's still a little slick on the driveway. Be very careful walking to the bus." D- put on his boots and left.

He was gone no more than 30 seconds when he was back. "Mr. T- just told me we have 2 hours late! And I'm all ready to go! I could have slept longer! Now I'm awake and dressed and everything! What am I going to do for 2 hours?"

Tough break.
K-

My son was explaining a new incentive program they've started at his high school. According to him, his high school has been having problems will student attendance. So they created an incentive program to pay the students to come to school. He claims each student has been assigned a number. The administration will daily pick a student's number at random and if that student has been present at school for the last 5 days, he or she will receive $20.

Huh? What? What'd he say? What'd he say?!?

Needless to say my disbelief-o-meter was pinned when I heard this.

"Where's the money for this coming from?"
"I don't know. I'd like to know, too."
"It's not like school is optional. People get in trouble if they don't show up."
"I know but this is what they're doing."
"$20?"
"Yep."

I just have to find out more.
K-

1. My younger son, D-, was named a Mt. Hebron High School Student of the Month yesterday. Congratulations D-! Booyah!

2. There's a new theatrical trailer out for The DaVinci Code. Makes the movie look good but is there anyone on earth who hasn't read that book? Where will the surprise be? I'm sure I won't go to the theatrical release just because I already know the story.

3. I got this clock from my mother. It's an old Seth Thomas clock with a wind-up mechanism and pendulum. At first, the clock ran just fine. But now it keeps stopping and I don't know what's wrong with it. I know it's wound. Using my best car problem diagnosing skills, I've opened the front door and peered curiously inside. Is there more I should be doing? Here's a picture. Can anybody see what's wrong?

4. I have a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with the customer "reviews" over at Amazon.com. But I just can't resist reading them. Who cares about credentials? Screw the New York Times Book Review and Washington Post Book World. I just have to know what "a reader" from "Anytown, USA" has to say about a book I'm intersted in.

5. Seriously though, all those Amazon.com customer "reviews" do is prove that any moron - particuarly those commenting on Regnery books screed tripe crap - can be taught how to type.

6. I read in the Baltimore Sun this morning that Roberto Pereira da Silva, mayor of Biritiba Mirim, Brazil, has outlawed death. The town's cemetery is full and laws forbid cremation and a new cemetery, so outlawing dying was his solution to the problem. Wow. Way to address a need. I didn't know Bush had political appointees in Brazil.

7. It was 9 deg F when I got up this morning. Even I think that's cold. Especially so for Maryland.

8. I get a hepatitus booster shot this morning in preparation for my trip to Jamaica. Did I mention that I was going to Jamaica in February? I'm going to Jamaica in February on a medical mission.

9. I'm up for Kong. Even at 3 hours. Anyone else up for Kong? And Syriana and Munich, too. But not Brokeback Mountain. Despite the buzz.

10. I'm going to an ordination on Saturday. I've never been to an ordination. The vestal color is white.

11. I've been ruefully watching these so-called "Christmas defenders" led by conservative activist Jerry Falwell and media asshole Bill O'Reilly. Not only is the whole thing a tempest in a teapot, it's a manufactured tempest in a teapot with the sole purpose of being a club to bash over the head anyone who's not a conservative demagogue simply because it's fun for them. Today's NYTimes has a rebuttal. I regret the Times felt compelled to stoop to conquer these cretins.
K-

We all know I'm a big fan of Michigan. I grew up in the Great Lake State and, of course, went to the University of Michigan. I'm an unabashed Wolverine and Michigander.

But my firstborn and a healthy chunk of my paycheck go to the University of Maryland. And I've lived in the Old Line State more than 25 years. Way, way longer than I ever lived in Michigan. So I'm allowed a little bellicose chest-thumping over Maryland's athletic accomplishments, aren't I?

Maryland football is OK but it's really only something to watch until basketball season. And Maryland's basketball program is viewed as the crown jewel by most folks.

But this year two other Maryland teams won their respective NCAA championships. Men's soccer took the crown yesterday over New Mexico (sic) yesterday and field hockey won its chamionship against Duke to claim its title back in November. Congratulations to both teams.

It's good to be in Maryland this fall.
K-

How I do love it when one of my Sunday meals comes together nicely: fricasseed chicken with fresh rosemary and lemon, braised potatoes, whole green beans, garlic bread, and not the worst Chardonnay in the world.

Would that I could have fed the world.
K-

I know you've all been waiting for these with bated breath. I give you some images of Colonial Williamsburg Christmas 2005. I had a great time and recommend Williamsburg highly. People who think Disney World, rodeo, tractor pulls, or theme parks are the height of manmade entertainment would do best to stay away. You might learn real history here and would otherwise get in my way.

Thumbnails appear after the jump.
K-

Bizarro World.

Everyone has some notion what that place must be like. It's a place where things are almost normal, almost status quo. But at the same time, things just aren't quite right. They're a little off-kilter. Things are, well, bizarre.

I was in a Tucson Bizarro World today. I really wasn't expecting it. And if my meeting had gone all day, I probably would have missed it entirely. But my meeting ended early, about 3 PM. I had time on my hands but not a lot. I figured a movie would be just the right thing. I discovered a theater about 9 miles from my hotel. It was showing Good Night and Good Luck, a movie I've been wanting to see. Google maps showed me the way and off I went.

When I got to where Google sent me, there was no theater. At least none that I could see. What I found was a shopping mall.

A nearly empty, almost deserted shopping mall.

Wandering around inside I saw vacant store after vacant store. Boarded up, curtains drawn, overhead doors pulled down. Opaque, white paint on nearly all the windows. There was a Penny's and a jewelry stand but not much else. "This is a bit unusual," I thought.

I then found a sign directing me to the left: "Century Theater just past the food court," it read. When I got to the food, I discovered no Taco Bells, McDonalds, or Nathans but rather total emptiness. Every spot in the court had been bricked over. The food court enterprises weren't just vacant, mall management had cinder-blocked all of them as if trying to blot out a bad memory. "Good thing I don't want something to eat." Most startling of all: on the bricks had been painted happy food court servers providing food. I hustled through the court and found the theater.

I didn't expect there to be a lot of people at this movie. It's an indie, directed by George Clooney, about Edward R. Murrow. Not a big draw under the best of circumstance. And here I was at the 4:55 showing on a Thursday night. I bought my ticket, found the theater, and went in.

No one.

"OK. It is 25 minutes before show time. There'll be others." But time passed and no no arrived. Nope. Not a one. Me. Alone. Watching those ads. Only for some reason there was only one ad. A single ad that never changed. There I sat, alone in the theater watching an ad for "Dr. Jaws", a local Tucson orthodontist. (Check him out at www. drjaws.net.) Finally, the house lights dimmed, the previews started, and there I sat, a whole theater to myself in the middle of Tucson and its 1,000,000 inhabitants.

On the way back I turned on the radio. My rental came with XM and I had on channel 110: XM Classics. Nice music as I headed back to the hotel. I stopped at a Burger King just up the street from where I'm staying, not a mile from Tucson International Airport. I walk in and not a soul was in there. Just me and the guy behind the counter with... Channel 110 XM Classics blaring - loudly - from the speakers overhead.

"OK, things are getting a little weird," I'm thinking. But I press on.

"Whopper meal, please."
"We're out of Whoppers."
"You're kidding? This is a Burger King and you're out Whoppers?"
"Go figure."
"OK, Angus burger."
"Out of them, too."
"Junior Whopper?"
"We're just out of hamburgers."
"Well, what do you have?"
"Chicken fries and fish sandwich."
"I'll take the fish."

I got back to my hotel half expecting to find police and Sam Spade in my room investigating the murders of The View. But my brief sortie into Bizarro World had ended. My room was empty. Things were normal.

And I return to Howard County tomorrow.
K-

P.S. The movie was great even watching it by myself in a huge movie theater.

Tucson greeted me with open arms. It's been a while since I've been here but it looks much like I remembered it. My flight from Baltimore had a connection in Dallas. As I boogied from gate C-32 to A-23, I decided to grab dinner from the airport Subway (boy, talk about oxymorons) rather than wait till I got to Tucson for food.

I'm not good saving food. I'm sure in a previous life I was a dachshund or something because once I know I have food to eat, it's all I can do to keep from devouring it. So it was with the sandwich on the airplane. We were no sooner in the air than I had the tray-table-in-front-of-me down with my foot-long resting on top of it.

Then the most awkward pang of conscience hit me. No one around me had anything to eat. Were they all as hungry as I was? Maybe some of them had traveled from Baltimore without the time to get dinner. Should I share? That's what I was taught in grade school. Would it be rude to eat when the others weren't being served? The airline was only offering small bags of chips. Could I actually sit there, the smell of oil and vinegar wafting through the cabin, and eat my sub?

Absolutely. Not a problem. Went down without a hitch.

And I enjoyed the bag of chips American gave me, too.
K-

Woodstock had its first snow last night. A mere 2 inches. The snowplowman got to my street before the photographer did.

Now off to pack my bags for a late morning flight to Arizona.
K-

Williamsburg was a blast. Yesterday was the "Grand Illumination" of Williamsburg, which kicks off the Christmas season. The colonial town was decked out in all its finest holiday glory. Tens of thousands of people descended on the area to catch a glimpse of the fireworks that took place. I was seated on the north side of the capitol building where I was serenaded with fife and drums, lute singers, and Christmas choruses. The backdrop of the old House of Burgesses made for a great fireworks show.

I took 150 photos that I'll sort through later. I'll post some when I have a chance but probably not until the weekend.

For now, I'm back from Williamsburg and on to Tucson for business meetings. Blogging will be scant this week because of my travels. For now, I leave you with a picture of one of my favorites moments: a town meeting hosted by none other than His Excellency, Colonel Washington. He gave a rousing speech to the crowd.

Enjoy.
K-

I've been having trouble with my Movable Type email notification service. If you stop by, would you leave a comment? I'd like to track notifications. Anything will do. Thanks.
K-