March 2005 Archives

I'm sitting in my parents house although, curiously, it's now my house. My mother's entire estate is going to be split two ways. I get half; my brother gets half. So even though I could never remotely begin to think of my parent's house as my house, it is.

Perhaps the most amazing thing about my parent's house is that it has Internet for the taking. I sit down at the kitchen table, turn on my laptop, boot, and, voila! I'm on the Internet. No modems, no cables, no nothing.

How is this even possible? While my mother tried her best to stay up with the times, she wasn't a technical maven. So that wireless Internet exists in her house is not her doing. Whence comes my mother's wireless connection? How is my laptop receiving it. Arthur C. Clark once said any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

This is truly magic.

Wireless Internet is without doubt the most amazing thing I've ever seen using a computer.
K-

Yesterday the mid-Atlantic region got pounded by rain and storms. We got nearly 2 inches of rain.

Despite the terrible weather, early this morning while lying in bed I could hear a bluebird singing. The bluebird song has a distinct plaintive quality to it and it is not terribly loud. Nevertheless, I could hear this guy's pipes with no trouble at all.

How far off can Spring be?
K-

Today is Maryland Day. On this day in 1634, Lord Calvert - brother to Lord Baltimore - became the first European to first set foot on land in what is now Maryland. The auspicious event took place at the site of the Maryland's first permanent settlement: St. Mary's City. As far as I know, there are no Maryland Day celebrations of any kind in the state.

Two nights ago, I stopped into Champps Restaurant at a nearby shopping mall. It's an OK fun-and-food-drinkery. Being a weeknight, I didn't expect to have to wait for a table. But I was disappointed... there was a wait. As I turned to go, I noticed they had a big Maryland state flag hanging on the wall.

Now I really like the Maryland state flag. Not that I'm biased but it's the most distinctive of the 50. Right away I noticed that it was hanging on the wall upside down. When I informed the hostess of the faux pas, she simply giggled and muttered something inconsequential. While I can't be sure, I suspect I was the first one to ever tell her this and she didn't know what to do with the information.

Next time I'm in there, I'll talk to the manager.
K-

Actually, that day would have been Wednesday, February 23rd.

My phone rang about 1:15 AM jarring me awake. Five months earlier I would have assumed it was just a wrong number, rolled over, and gone back to sleep. But that night I knew right away who was calling me.

"Hi, this is the night nurse at your mother's nursing home. I just went in to check on her and found her unresponsive. Do you want us to perform CPR? That means we would send her to the hospital."

"I'm not sure. How long has she been unresponsive?"

"I was in talking with her about 11:30 but I just checked on her a few minutes ago and now there's no pulse. Do you want us to perform CPR?"

The night nurse needed me to make a decision. One that I really didn't want to make.

Just the afternoon before, we - my brother and I along with the doctor - had decided to put Mother into hospice. I even had a brief conversation with the hospice lady early Tuesday evening. Coincidentally, it was the same lady I talked to when it came time for my father's hospice care two years earlier. The hospice would fax me the necessary forms first thing Wednesday morning.

But at 1:15 AM, I hadn't officially signed any of the hospice documents. Mother's advanced directives - signed when she entered the nursing home following brain tumor surgery last September - were still in effect. One of the directives Mother had checked was "Perform CPR".

The night nurse knew hospice was imminent for my mother. And when you're in hospice, they don't perform CPR. But Mother wasn't in hospice yet. She was still in a nursing home. Legally, the night nurse had to follow the advanced directive. So she called me. She needed to know. What did I want her to do?

Mother had come out of brain surgery like gangbusters. For all of October and most of November, she had done well with her physical therapy. She was walking with a walker. She played the piano during sing-along. Her mind - what she feared losing most - was intact. But right after Thanksgiving changes started occurring. She stopped eating. She became confused. She lost weight. The periods of confusion grew longer. She lost more weight. She stopped answering the phone. She wouldn't get out of bed. She slept most of the time. The doctors told me it was the brain cancer at work even though nothing was showing up on the CAT scans. We talked of VP shunts and forcing her to get out of bed to eat. We wanted to build her strength. Maybe that would help. But she was in Michigan, I was in Maryland. It got very, very hard.

"Mr. White, I need to know. Do you want us to perform CPR?"

"No... not tonight. No CPR."

K-

I realize I haven't blogged in a looooooooooooooong time. And I probably should explain my absence just to be polite. (It's mostly because my mother died back in February and between her illness, funeral, and estate management, I haven't had much time for blogging. I haven't really felt like it either.)

So I apologize for my first post after this long hiatus for being so inane.

Today I saw an article on the CNN website that contained this picture. Pet store owners in Indiana rescued a turtle from their burned-out shop only to find the image of Satan seared on the back of its shell. Or so they say.

Me? I just see a picture of a turtle shell. I see no guy with horns, no image that looks like George Bush, Bill O'Reilly, or Tom DeLay, nothing that matches my concept of ultimate evil. Maybe I just don't know what Satan looks like. Of course, I can't see the Man in the Moon either.

If anyone can explain where the image is, I'd appreciate it. Seriously. I'm just not seeing it.
K-