April 2004 Archives

A statement from Michael Jackson's new defense attorney after today's arraignment:

"This case should not be about lawyers or celebrity. This case is about one thing only. It’s about the dignity, the integrity, the decency, the honor, the charity, the innocence, and the complete vindication about a wonderful human being named Michael Jackson."

OK. So the new guy can't count.
K-

My sons' scout troop had a big "tribute" dinner last night. Troop 361 is 65 years old. The troop has reason to believe it is actually much older. But a long time ago all the troop records were destroyed in a barn fire. Consequently the Boy Scouts will only say we're as old as the Baltimore Area Council - 65 years.

I'm one of the assistant scoutmasters. Assistant scoutmasters are much like vice presidents: not a lot of assigned duties. The job is what you make of it. I don't make much of it.

The affair was really great. During the program they recognized just about everybody. Most of the tribute went to - deservedly - the Scoutmaster. He's been doing the job since 1985 and there's no signs he's giving up the position any time soon. We joke but it's probably true that there's only one way he's giving up the job. He's a great guy who works hard for the kids. A lot of the parents are intimidated by him. He has this really stern countenance. But once you get to know him he's very friendly and warm-hearted.

So we ate, (Hey, we're scout's. It's what we do.) sang our troop signature silly song (The Buffalo Dance), received acolades, and reminisced. A great time was had by all.
K-

A couple of years ago, the Maryland Department of Natural Resources discovered a snakehead fish in a small pond in Crofton. Snakeheads are bizarre animals and give wildlife managers fits.

Just like house sparrows, snakeheads are an introduced species. They come from Asia. With the Crofton fish, DNR personnel theorize that an aquarium enthusiast had a few that grew too large - or too nasty - for his fishbowl and simply released them into the pond. You see snakeheads are viscious, crazed animals. They have fang-like teeth, and if left alone in a pond, they will devour all other living organisms. "So what," you ask, "then they'll just die of starvation."

Not with these puppies. Snakeheads can live for days out of water. And if the pond they are in dries up or runs out of food, they'll crawl on their fins across dry land to some other nearby body of water and start eating there.

Tuesday an angler down in Montgomery County caught a snakehead in a small county pond. It's been two years since the last one. The 19-inch snakehead he caught lived up to the aggressive reputation of its species: as it lay covered in plastic wrap shortly after being landed, the snakehead bit into the steel-tipped boot of a passer-by. Ouch.

The DNR doesn't know how this snakehead came to be in the Montgomery County pond. But it's taking no chances. The pond will be drained to see what lurks down deep. If there are more snakeheads in the pond and they're allowed to escape to a river or the Chesapeake Bay, there's no telling what kind of damage they could do.
K-

A friend sent me this link: http://www.kiddofspeed.com/chapter1.html
The website documents - in pictures and text - the adventures of a Ukrainian women who travelled by a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle into the dead zone surrounding Chernobyl.

I invite you to take a look at her site. Her trip is extraordinary.
K-

I had my hair cut last night. Sean, my barber, was his usual silent self. I've mentioned that I'm not one for light conversation with the person cutting my hair.

After he was done with the hair on my head he then proceeded to trim my eyebrows. Very carefully with a scissors and comb. Sticking to established custom he didn't ask first.

I don't know what to think about that. When I was younger, I felt certain that all those "old man" changes wouldn't bother me. But I'm beginning to think they will. I've already got veins sticking up on the backs of my hands. Gray hair is beginning to show. Now my eyebrows have become so bushy they require trimming. What's next? That stupid bald spot on the crown of my head? Teeth that stay in my locker when I go out running? Those extra-huge old-man ears with tufts of hair growing out?
K-

The parking lot of my employer has several sycamore trees scattered about. They're the kind with the peeling bark. One of the few sure-fire places I know to find Balitmore Orioles every spring is in those sycamores. I always hear the male singing first. That's what draws my attention. The song of the Baltimore Oriole is a wonderful liquid whistle birders love to hear. While the song varies from bird to bird, once you learn what it basically sounds like, you can recognize it every time.

I'm sure I look like a fool scanning the tree tops in the employee parking lot looking for that bright orange bird. Most of my fellow employees just kind of look askance at me as they hurry on into work. "What could that guy possibly be looking for?" they must be thinking to themselves. I don't think anyone has every stopped to ask what I was looking at and no one has ever joined me scanning the trees.

On the way in this morning I heard my first Baltimore Oriole of the year. I didn't see him but I'm sure he'll be singing on my way out tonight.
K-

I just read that the very last Oldsmobile is coming off the assembly line tomorrow. The brand is 106 years old. Unfortunately, Oldsmobiles only appeal to people who are about 106 years old, which is why it must be going the way of all flesh. In my whole life, I've never considered owning an Oldsmobile. How about you? Was an Oldsmobile ever on your radar screen as possible transportation?
K-

My first hummingbird of the season appeared at my feeder this morning. It was cold for late April (35F). He looked fat as he sat there drinking nectar with his feathers fluffed.
K-

My computers help with the search for extraterrestrial intelligence. The University of California at Berkeley has an effort whereby the idle time of one's home or office PC can be used to perform spectral analyses on blocks of data collected by the Arecibo Radio Telescope in Puerto Rico. Basically, I'm evaluating white noise from space in the hope of finding some coherent, correlated signal. No luck yet finding ETI but I've managed to complete 1000 work units for the project. And it makes a nifty screen saver. If you're interested, check out the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence at Home website. You can download the SETI program and be on your way quixotically analyzing completely random data before you know it.
K-

PS. Cyril Morton is my nom-de-web. He's the only electrical engineer mentioned in The Complete Sherlock Holmes.

A minor conundrum.

The county has been installing a traffic light at an intersection I jog by everyday. Monday they finished everything up with the intention of activating the traffic light today. Early Tuesday morning I jogged by the big, silver box that contains all the traffic light control electronics and noticed that the workmen left the keys to the control box in the lock. They were just sitting there much like anyone might leave their house keys in the front door. There were no workmen around.

As I ran by I wondered "Should I take the keys or not?" Anyone, including inquisitive children, could get into the electronics if I left the keys sitting in the lock. Electrocution or vandalism might result. On the other hand, if I take the keys, what do I do with them? Maybe the guy who left them would come back. What if he got fired for losing them? In the perverse ways of the world, might I get in trouble by having the keys in my possession?

I decided to take the keys. I called the county public works department but they never returned my calls. Today on my way to work, I saw the workmen activating the traffic light and was able to return the keys. They said thank you.

So what do you think? Should I have left the keys?
K-

It's official. Come September A- will be a Maryland terrapin. The University of Maryland response form and required $200 fee were sent in today.

The icing on the cake came last night when a good friend of A-'s decided that he, too, would be going to Maryland. They've agreed to be roommates. They've shared classes, cross country, and wind ensemble; now they'll share living quarters. Time will tell whether they remain good friends. The response form contained a brief survey that is used in some weak attempt at making compatible roommate assignments. One of the questions asked was "Would other people think you were neat and tidy?" A- answered no. (Probably not a wrong answer but he's not a slob by any means.)

I hope his buddy knows this.
K-

I ran the Clyde’s 10K yesterday. It’s the longest race I’ve been in since running the Army 10 Miler last October.

Clyde’s is a fairly decent restaurant in the heart of “downtown” Columbia, Maryland. They’ve been sponsoring the Clyde’s 10K for more than 25 years. That a local independent restaurant can compete successfully against mediocre corporate establishments in the now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t business environment of Columbia is achievement enough. That they’ve continued to sponsor such a fun, well-organized event for so long is amazing.

The Clyde’s course is hilly. Very hilly. Everyone remembers that three-fourths-mile-long uphill on Route 108 between miles 3 and 4. But it’s the forgotten two or three shorter-but-steeper hills right after that do most people in. Myself included. All those hills and some early April warmth forced me to slow my pace and to take an unplanned one minute walk break right about 5 miles. I finished in 63:15. Much slower than the one hour I was shooting for. I was a little disheartened but there were untold numbers of comely female runners in running shorts and singlets to cheer me up.

But by the end, I found my second wind, the crowd was cheering, my kid was there waiting for me, the Clyde’s post-race brunch was wonderful, and there’s always next year.

Here’s hoping next year the 50 year old can break an hour.

Update 20 Apr 04
The results for the 26th Clyde's 10K were posted this morning. While I was the slowest person from Woodstock, MD, I was not the slowest 49 year old.
K-

My beloved Camry ails.

Last Thursday I noticed a distinct shimmy in the steering wheel when traveling in excess of 60 miles per hour. It had never done that before. I called the mechanic on Friday afternoon for a Monday appointment.

Friday night when I got home from work I noticed a really awful smell emanating from the engine compartment. You know that sort-of-hot-something’s-burning smell cars sometimes get? I checked all the fluids but everything was fine. The engine seemed to be running OK but I was taking no chances. I decided to leave the Camry in the garage all weekend.

Yesterday morning when I backed out the Camry to get at the lawnmower and again this morning when leaving for the shop I noticed a very loud banging sound when I started the car that hadn’t been there before. It quickly went away but, boy, was it loud. I’m thinking, “Uh oh…”

The mechanic just called: stuck front left brake caliper, burned rotor and pad, bad brake hose, carbon on the valves probably causing the banging I heard.

$900

Ouch.
K-

Fred and Ethel are back. No, not the Mertz’s but the bluebirds. Fred and Ethel are what I lovingly call the pair of bluebirds I have living in my backyard. Mostly because the two are always dropping into my yard unannounced and without knocking much like the other Fred and Ethel did with the Ricardo’s. And I have to assume they are the same pair as in previous years. I couldn’t bear to think that just any old bluebirds were occupying my nest box. As if my bluebirds could be a couple of randy, lascivious things just looking for some cheap flop house. No… I’m certain Fred and Ethel are back once again from their winter home. Last year I (well… they) fledged two broods. Two years ago I (I mean they) had one brood. The brood 3 years ago died in a catastrophic collision when my son hit the nest box post with the lawnmower.

For many years I’ve maintained a couple of bluebird next boxes in my back yard. In my old house - a townhouse that backed to fairly dense woods - I never got bluebirds to set up residence. I’d get chickadees or house wrens but never bluebirds. They are both fine birds to be sure but not in the same league as bluebirds.

When we moved into our new house, which has more open territory, the bluebirds moved right in. It happened so fast it was as if my realtor told them I was coming.

I haven’t been as attentive in my yardly duties this year as I should have. The array of feeding stations I set up for the winter-feeding season lingered unattended far too long into the spring. Work, college visits, and running have distracted me from my usual springtime Harry Homeowner obligations. Nor had I been paying attention to my nest boxes.

This past weekend was warm and without rain so I decided it was high time to get the yard fixed up. The first thing on the list was to find out what – if anything – was going on inside my birdhouses. I first checked my “decoy” nest box. The decoy box is located about 50 feet from my other bluebird house. Its purpose is to attract birds other than bluebirds, which in the Maryland suburbs are most likely to be house sparrows.

Most birders despise house sparrows with a vengeance. They are a ubiquitous species not native to North America. Being an exotic, house sparrows are not protected by wildlife regulations. Bluebirds – and those of us trying to raise bluebirds - feel much more strongly. House sparrows are Satan-incarnate: marauding, brutal killers that will destroy bluebird eggs, chicks, and mother if allowed to get inside a bluebird’s nesting cavity. So my decoy box has a sparrow trap inside. When sprung, the trap keeps the bird in the house until I arrive to dispatch the bird if it’s a house sparrow and release it if it’s something else.

Unfortunately my decoy box had a sparrow nest inside. My hopes for the other box diminished. I cleaned out the nest, set the sparrow trap, and moved on to my other box. Being so early in the season and because I hadn’t heard bluebirds singing, I wasn’t prepared for what I found inside: Ethel sitting on a clutch of four bluebird chicks that have already hatched! How could I have been so inattentive? I hadn’t even noticed them building their nest. What kind of host am I? Needless to say on the way home tonight, I’ll be stopping for mealworms.

And I’ve already sent two house sparrows to that great nest box in the sky.
K-

I haven't blogged in a while because my mother always told me if you've got nothing to say then keep your mouth shut. So that's what I've been doing.

Everyone got back OK from the Mt. Hebron High School band trip to Disney World. There was a nominal band competition while they were there (Mt. Hebron won) but I think the whole point of the trip is to have fun and not spend a lot of time competing. I had to be at the high school when they returned to pick up the kids. The spry, sporty attitude of departure had morphed a uniformly tired appearance. My kids slept soundly that first night back as did the other 250 members of the band I'm sure.

The rest of spring break was fairly routine. The kids hung out, S- went to Rehoboth Beach for a quick getaway, we went to church on Easter, and I cooked a great Easter dinner. (I made chicken pot pie and I make a mean chicken pot pie. I know chicken pot pie sounds pedestrian but mine really is good. Not at all like Swanson's.)

After a lot of thought, prayer, and discussion, we kind of reached a decision on college. I think our family made a decision that is, overall, best for us but it was a compromise and we all hate compromises. There was a lot of disappointment and some tears. I'll say more about all this later because one family's experience may benefit others. But not now. For now let's just say that Mick Jagger hit the nail on head.

I've got a 10K race on Sunday that I'm absolutely not ready for. A- is running it too. I'd like to say A- is running it with me but that would be a lie. We shake hands at the start; he'll finish 20 minutes before me. D- will be acolyting while I'm running. Probably the first time I haven't been there when he's been an acolyte.

That's it for now. I'll keep a weather eye out for good blogging material but if you don't see anything remember I'm just following my mother's advice.
K-

At this moment, exactly eighteen years ago I was sound asleep in bed. That's because I had been up all night attending the birth of my oldest son who arrived about 4:45 AM. A- is traveling with his high school marching unit this weekend so I'll have to trust his friends to sing Happy Birthday. As he was growing up, I was always able to be around on his birthday despite all my travels for work. So it's ironic A- is the one who's away and not me on this momentous occasion.

It's weird to think that my job of raising him is essentially over. Oh, sure, he's expecting me to pay for his college education, his car repairs, and other miscellaneous stuff. But starting today, he can legally sign contracts, join the army, get credit cards, and vote without my co-sign. No more "If under 18 Parent Must Sign." He's done. Finis.

He didn't turn out too bad if I do say so. Happy Birthday, A-.
K-

I stumbled across the Google Labs website. I found a prototype application those clever folks at Google are developing called the "Google Deskbar". When installed you have a small box appearing down near your system tray that lets you perform web searches without opening your browser. The results appear in a small pop-up window. The options let you define other kinds of searches. For instance, I can use it to search my online company phone directory without bringing up my browser; the names appear in the pop-up box. Seems to work fine.
K-

Thanks to Critter's Mom for pointing me toward this somewhat tricky grammar quiz. I usually don't do these things because they can be annoying. But I have a certain pride in my ability to use the King's English and couldn't resist. The quiz also confirmed what I always knew.

You are a GRAMMAR GOD! If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be. Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
K-

Everyone in the house but me is heading to Florida - Disney World in point of fact - today. A-, D-, their mother, and the rest of the Mt. Hebron Marching Unit are boarding buses for a long drive south on their annual spring band trip. They perform on Saturday. S- wanted to see the kids perform together in Disney World so she's going along as a chaperone. I don't particularly like (make that hate) Disney World so the expense and "opportunity" to see the kids in 2-minute walk-by in the Magic Kingdom didn't appeal to me. So I'll be living large and by myself for the next few days. Quite possibly the longest length of time I'll be by myself in my own house since 1983.
K-